Babies are freaking terrifying.
Babies are a big choice (for those of us super lucky enough to get a choice). And the reasons for having babies continues to jump in as an ever-changing seascape in our busy, everyday lives.
There are traditional choices, like a married couple with a home in the ‘burbs choosing to increase their team by +1.
There are single moms choosing to have a baby on their own because they’re wonderful and ready and don’t need to wait for that gent on the white horse.
There are young parents still in college, single dads, adoptive parents, step-parents joining in, and oops babies. The list goes on!
Our generation is starting to ask what the future self will feel about babies. Are we looking for someone to care for us when we’re old? Will our older selves regret not having a baby?
Are babies a necessary part of a fulfilling life, or are we allowed to feel fulfilled and happy without them?
We think there’s tons to be said for all sides.
There are lots of wonderful ways to be a parent. There a lot of reasons to have babies and to not have babies.
While we design our latest baby cards, we’re taking some time to think about that decision (to have or have not), and we’re paying attention to the new moms in our lives as they embark on the joyful, freaking terrifying epic of raising a brand new human being.
Babies bring us together.
Babies are awesome.
As someone who will probably never have children, I feel an extra push to make this declaration. Choosing to not have kids (or choosing not to adopt when the biological option is absent) doesn’t mean kids are on the bad list.
We can love babies and not want babies at the same time.
We can celebrate babies and new moms without feeling like something fundamental is missing.
I love being present with the new parents in my life, watching their journey from the center of their own solar system to the center of someone else’s.
The babies joined this world from the get-go as unique, fragile little people. And from NICU stays to first bouts with common colds, to allergy testing and crawling and early language development and stealing dog food, these kids have transformed their new parents into full-fledged superheros.
The big thing I’ve learned is that no one is a superhero alone. Moms and dads need lots of support, even when it’s just a quick phone call to break up the day.
They need to be heard on the bad days and know they’re not alone; they need to brag up the amazingness of their babies on the good days and revel in the highs.
Most of all, they need to maintain their center while going through this HUGE life change, and I feel super lucky to be a helpful part of that.
Babies are tough for everyone. You ARE rockin’ it.
Just as we realized that our moms are human and did their best for us, we also have to remember that we’re human.
Not every day will be perfect, but on the whole, I think we’re nailing it.
If we’re still teetering on whether or not kids are right for us, if we’re trying for babies or have new babies, if we’ve discussed our hopes and dreams with the future self and found life to be happy and complete even without the babies, we’re all doing our best.
There’s no one way to do this, which is pretty incredible. We can find our own way, and celebrate.
Best wishes, Loretta
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Go call a friend who’s had a lot going on, and tell them they’re doing great! We all need a little encouragement. xo
